Moving Through Fear with Grace

Fear of achievement is one of the greatest enemies we come up against in this world. Though sometimes triggered by outside events or forces, sometimes our greatest fears come from within and are birthed from our greatest wants. Fears come from everything and everywhere. Little dust mites we pick up on our way through life. A passing comment from a family member or even a stranger can install some pretty intense spyware in our brains. We want something, we know what feels like our true life calling, but many of us block our own shine to maintain the status quo, to keep things safe and predictable, to not rock the boat.

Fear also comes from the unknown. It challenges us to take up a weapon and prove it wrong. "That's too risky." "Yes, I'll be living my dreams, but what about everyone else?" "Yes, I'm perfect for the job, but they won't choose me because of X, Y, Z." Fear comes from the unknown and our unwillingness to face it. It is also intrinsically connected to ideas about our self-worth. If we had as many actionable plans for our goals as we did thoughts that keep them restricted, we wouldn't have time for our minds to cloud with the what-ifs and hows. For me, this is where spirituality, ritual, and mysticism can come into play.

The 7 Principles of Hermeticism (check out this quick read on Medium) really helped me find a center and a logic that felt right to me when dealing with incarnation on Earth. Hermeticism suggests that we see existence as a blank canvas, with which it is our honor and duty to create anything that we can imagine. To expand our mind beyond what we can imagine, to tap into the higher realms of All That Is. Along with many other helpful ideas and principles, this simple visualization can help us reset a fear-based mindset and see our condition with new eyes. Hermetic Principles encourage us to live our full expression of what it is we desire. Our gender, our work, our art. We are here to create, to make, to experience, and to explore.

The way that our minds are intended to be molded societally, depending on what kind of socioeconomic bracket you grew up in, generally is that of falling in line and being a good worker bee. There are so many gifted healers, artists, speakers, makers, poets, and thinkers giving their minds and bodies away to a job. The divide between the sexes right now, especially with the influence of social media, can be so destructive to the magic and power of us individually. I often wonder how many great poets are spending their days up on power poles or working the front desk at a doctor's office, going home to write the most beautiful, romantic prose the world could ever witness, and the words sit alone in their journal.

My own "coming out" as a spiritual weirdo is me walking the talk, essentially. I want so badly for others to succeed, to live their dreams, to share their knowledge, to feel oneness with the Earth and humanity. I have to do it first. The tarot has also been an irreplaceable tool for my growth. Having a relationship with a tarot deck is like having an on-call therapist/advisor who goes straight to your subconscious, addresses the issue, and does not mince any words. Today I will employ the Hermetic Tarot by Godfrey Dowson, born from the mind of Aleister Crowley and based on the esoteric workings of The Secret Order of the Golden Dawn. They are mystical, bold, and offer great insight into the workings of our mind and the world that we cannot see. I am excited to see what it has to say to us about fear itself.

I will ask for 3 cards, one being the root of our fears, two our salvation, and three our trepidation. I would like to know the source, the feeling beyond fear, and what might hold us back from that freedom. The technique I use when pulling cards is to wipe my mind clean like a dry erase board, focus solely on my question, and focus my entire attention on the question as I shuffle and pull each card. I also always light a candle before my pull.

The Princess of Pentacles, Princess of Cups, and 8 of Cups from the Hermetic Tarot. All images are owned by US Games and are not my own.

The first card denoting the source of our fears is the Princess of Pentacles, or Page of Pentacles in the traditional Rider-Waite-Smith tarot. She is the ultimate reset button. She is fully realized action and potential fulfilled. Court cards in the tarot all carry two energies of the four elements. She is Earth of Earth. This suggests that all of our fears come from outside of ourselves. Fear attacks our will, from which all our creations are born. All fears are emanations from the "World" as it is right now. The potential of everything can be hard to imagine, and sometimes our world gets very small. We can only see what we know. The Princess is malleable, she is open, she is receptive, and young and new. She is the gemstone inside of the unassuming rock. The source of our fears is the potential of all. She is both fruition and regeneration. This suggests fear may also be born out of the knowing of the cycles of life and the birth and death of all things. The more we can accept the cycles we are living in, and go forth to emanate our true spirit anyway, will act as an antidote to fear.

Surprisingly, card two or our salvation is the Princess of Cups or Page of Cups. The Princesses in the Thoth or Hermetic tarot and Pages of traditional decks represent youth in court cards. Something new, young, and fresh. She is Water of Earth. She is our emotions, our feelings, our inner world. She is deeply connected to her intuition, to her feminine energy of receiving, of creating art and life. She represents our connection to our higher self, from which our ideas, desires, and dreams emanate. She asks us to trust ourselves and to always act from love. She represents divine union and a supportive partnership. She is the softer side of life. She feels for others and can observe society while maintaining her own world, creating every day, trusting her dreams and intuition, and acting from that space opposed to fear.

Our trepidation lies in the 8 of Cups, also named Indolence or Abandoned Success. Discouragement, outright self-sabotage, and introspection itself can disconnect us from our will and intuition, and put a halt on our dreams. As we get older, building time up in a relationship, career, or position may make us feel emotionally bound and unable to step away and tend to new creation. Forces in the outside world or setbacks can make us think too much, talk ourselves out of our growth, and build on our fears. In the traditional tarot, there is the image of an eclipse, and a man abandoning his cups and walking away. This card asks us not to give up. To rest when there is no movement, to move when the time is right. To strengthen our spirit and connection to the Divine so that we are better able to handle life's ups and downs. To stay focused on love at all times, and being an emanation of love.

In conclusion, the antidote to fear is compassion. Compassion for oneself, for others, for Earth. A deep connection with Spirit, with your intuition and your feelings. To honor oneself above all.